If You Need Her
by InfiniteAffinity
Summary: Sesshomaru has been dead for ten years, but by mysterious forces he's back. He has lost his memory and all he can remember is a face of a person he loved before his death. The problem? The well has been destroyed and Kagome was on the other side...
1. Chapter 1

_**If You Need Her**_

_**Chapter One- I'm back.**_

_**Summary- Sesshomaru has been dead for ten years, but by mysterious forces he's back. He has lost his memory and all he can remember is a face of a person he loved before his death. The problem? The well has been destroyed and Kagome was on the other side...**_

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**Scene I**

**Part I**

_If you need her how far will you go?_

_How far will you come?_

_As I look back on life I regret, _

_All the words I never said,_

_All the people I never told how much I cared about them,_

_The sun will set on my chances, _

_But until then I will fight until I can stop feeling so much regret- __**Bankotsu'sAngel**_

He felt it pulse silently but strongly, as if trying to wake him up from a deep sleep. It shook trying to wake up the decayed body, that has been dead for all these many years. It's wretched skin that had been lost the first six months of his death seemed to be regrowing. The bones shook as if possessed, wanting to break free of its confines. The flesh eating maggots that had taken residence in the corpse vanished. The grave shook as if by a force equal to that of an earthquake.

Flesh, flawless in it's entirety and flawlessness, regenerated. At first with a blue greenish color that only covered the bone but soon turned to the lean muscular physique, that had once been this broken body. It took shape and the eyes of that of a molten sunrise on a beautiful surface, returned with the same brilliance and strength that had once resided there. The powerful claws that had slayed so many and struck fear in so many more were made anew in their ferocity. His once proud broad shoulders were restored to their prideful form. But the most prominent feature on the form was the long silver hair that had once been scarce on the corpse, that now flowed around him and returned to their brilliant silver sheen.

The molten lava eyes snapped open looking around the dark surroundings, looking for any signs of life or light, but when he tried to take a breath to call out to someone or something he realized he couldn't breathe, that there was no air to let him breathe, or talk, and he also realized that there was no room to walk or move. Without realizing it, he did something the form before his death would have never done, or at least not showed: He panicked. In his moment of fleeting worry he pushed with all his might. At first it would not budge, but he tried a second time, and on his third try when he felt close to the point from which he had just returned, his long lost strength was rejuvenated.

With the new burst of strength and the ability to hold his breathe just a bit longer than he ever thought possible, he pushed once more. This time he felt something move and that convinced him to push a little harder, but not quite enough to get the barrier above him to let go. As he continued to push an image stuck in his head of a raven haired beauty with pink supple lips and eye drawing blue eyes, but the seemed sad and lonely. The thought of the girl and the fact that she looked so sad made him feel a pang of guilt he had never felt before, the eyes are what caught his attention. The way they seemed to look so dejected and forlorn made him think that something was wrong and that they were never meant to be that way.

He then felt enraged that such a beauty could look so hurt, and with a burst of anger he threw all the things keeping him from escaping to the surface off of him and watched them scatter about and felt dirt hit his face, but it didn't really register in his mind because all he could do was stare at the setting horizon laying down in his grave, thinking, wondering, and pondering about the raven haired girl that's name he could not recall, he now also couldn't remember her face anymore; Only her forsaken blue eyes and her beautiful hair. He could also not remember his name or where he was, all he knew was that he longed to see this beauty that had given him the strength to stop from returning from whence he had just came. He looked for the word he had to describe this feeling he was feeling for this face: love and wanting is what he came up with.

With that same wanting and love he tried to figure out a way to escape the 20 foot deep hole and looked around for something to aid him in his quest to escape. As he searched he realized he had nothing on and quickly looked for something to cover his naked form. In his quest he found a sword that seemed to be calling to him and urging him to take hold of it and never let it go. He obliged and felt a surge of power. As he continued searching he found another sword and one word came to mind: _Tokijin. _As he picked it up he instantly dropped it as he to dropped to the ground on his knees with an excruciating headache. Memories and faces flashed through his head of a demon that had gone corrupt with a red glow that resembled the now red glow of the sword. For a brief second he thought searching for said demon, but quickly saw that the demon had been killed by the same hands that were clutching his head.

He then saw an old man with large eyes and little pupils with a black cow with the same eyes. _Tatosai_, he recalled. Now the headache stopped as did the images. Even though of the pain he had to suffer he still felt grateful to have had the images implanted in his head. Now instead of wandering around like a lost fool he knew where to start, but on that note he began once more on his quest for coverage. As he looked he saw something in a clear container that seemed to be squeezed very tight, but had some how remained clean and when he picked it up the dirt just brushed right off. Because of the transparency, in the bag he could see what looked like garments, so he tried to open the it.

At first it was hard, the bag could never be opened by human hands so he put a little strength into it. Finally it opened, and once it did the scent of Sakura Blossoms and roses filled the hole. It seemed familiar but from something he could not quite recall. Sesshomaru took out the garments and looked at them the clothes were bringing back a memory, as quick as a flash spots of blood appeared and he dropped them. He then looked at it on the ground and saw that they were clean but some what covered in dirt, he quickly picked it up and brushed it off. He looked at the left over garments and quickly figured they were under clothes, he also realized that he was filthy. He looked down at his body and saw dirt and somethings that he would rather not identify. He slipped on the undergarments and jumped out of the 20 foot deep hole. Luckily there was a river next to his hole or 'home' is what he should have called it because it seemed as if he had been in there for a while.

He looked around for something to help wash himself off and soap, in his search he bent over to see a burden that was bothering his feet and as he did a cloth fell out of the bundle in his arms. He wondered how all of this was happening, maybe it was magic, he really had no clue but he was not going to complain. He then looked around the river to find something to make soap with, and found instead that someone had left soap over from their last bath.

_'My angel must be somehow looking out for me.'_ he thought with a small smile.

He quickly jumped into the cool river and washed himself off. When he got out he shook the water off and put on his clothes. When putting on his clothes he wondered what to do with the swords and the left over boa. Sesshomaru looked down at himself and saw his sash and decided to put both swords through one side of the sash. Now as for the boa he though of hanging it off of both shoulders but realized that it itched something fierce. Instead he hung it off of one shoulder. If only he knew how powerful he looked and how he would strike fear into the one he called his daughter, Rin.

He wondered where to find this 'Tatosai' and seeing as he had no clue he went in the direction of the east. He walked slowly but surely with confidence and his head held up high. Without knowing he walked with the stoic mask that he had acquired before his death. He payed good attention to his surroundings as he realized that the sun had now set.

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**Scene I**

**Part II**

_How hard would you try?_

_What would you try?_

_Who would you trust?_

_There are times when I wonder,_

_Who do I trust,_

_Who do I tell,_

_Why should I tell them, _

_And what will happen if I do,_

_The answer is simple,_

_You confide in god, children, and yourself,_

_For the simple reason those are the people that will give you the honest truth,_

_And will not confide to anyone else about it.-__** Bankotsu'sAngel**_

Sesshomaru walked until he came to the outskirts of a village. He looked around carefully waiting to see if anybody would come, but had to look down at his feet when he heard something break a few paces away. He turned and saw a little boy sitting there above the crushed toy, and you could also see the balls of tears form at the side of his eyes. He looked down at at in shame and regret. Against his better judgement Sesshomaru walked over to the boy and knelled down beside him. At feeling the absence of moonlight on his face the boy turned and at seeing Sesshomaru jumped away fear clearly written all over his face.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Sesshomaru said but it came back a little colder and harsher than he had anticipated. This made the boy jump back even more, making Sesshomaru feel like a monster, that maybe he was not loved by anyone, that maybe the girl that he had a pictured in his mind, had not loved him but maybe had helped him out of pity.

The shame must have been clearly written on him, because the boy looked some how saddened by the dejected face. He looked carefully at the molten eyes of the person that lay in front of him, to make sure that sadness he was seeing was real. After making sure he wouldn't bite his head off the young boy decided to speak.

"Are you okay mister?" He inquired trying to get a good look at the man's face. Sesshomaru's eyes widened as he heard the boys voice for it sounded so familiar but yet so alien at the same time. Then Sesshomaru tried to hide in the shadows as to make sure the boy did not get scared of the face he was sure would scare the boy away.

"Why were you scared?"

The boy seemed surprised but answered none the less.

" You popped out of no where and you startled me, I don't meet many strangers."

"Tell me boy, honest and truly, am I monster?" Sesshomaru said coming into the moonlight slowly, slightly afraid of what they boy might say. The boy laughed causing Sesshomaru to stare in his direction.

"You sir, have got to be kidding. You are probably one of the most handsome men in this part of Japan." Sesshomaru smiled, children were the best kind of strangers to trust. They were always truthful because they held that naiveness about the dangers they could possibly face, so they had no fear of the consequences their actions could bring. They could be trusted because unfortunately adults listened very little to them and what they had to say.

"Tell me young one where is your mother?"Sesshomaru asked smiling slightly at the young boy.

Sesshomaru was startled as the boy's eye, once more, became teary and big. They boy tried to cover his tears in shame and in desperation. He seemed to be reliving painful memories. The boy's once vibrant face became wet with tears and he tried to hide in the darkness. Sesshomaru did not know how to handle this boy so he just stared in wonder.

"I never knew my mom. It's not like I was given up at birth but more like, she left me and erased all the memories I had of her because she thought it would be less painful for me. But she was wrong I wake up everyday wondering if she'll come back. The villagers here don't care a lick about me, they say they only keep me here because they had promised my mom they would take good care of me after all she had done for them. The villagers here don't know the meaning of take good care of because I don't really even have a place to sleep or eat. I have to hunt my own food, there are times when they hit me for fishing in 'their' river. The food my mom had left me is all gone now, the villagers ate it all except for some packages of dried up noodles but I ate it myself." the boy's story was sad and so eye opening to how cold and cruel the world can be. The young boy held up his broken trinket now, " This is all that I have left to remind me of her, all I can remember now is her smell, see." He held up the toy for Sesshomaru to smell.

The scent was so familiar yet so laced with sadness, but it seemed so familiar and strange at the same time. He was itching to ask the boy if he could recall any features of his mom, maybe he had met her before, but he instead decided to tell him more of himself.

"Boy do not cry. I too, have lost something that I can not remember. There is this girl that I think I had once loved, I have this strange feeling that I could have been married to her. So please describe to me what your mother looked like."

The boy thought for a long while. "She had sad blue eyes and long raven hair, and that's all I can remember." he said his eyes now downcast. Wait a minute, sad blue eyes and long raven hair somewhat reminded him of that lady he had been thinking about earlier today.

"That sound like my wife's features." he said just barely enough for the boy to hear. You could almost feel the boy's smile. True he did not know if it was really his wife but he would do anything to give a little hope. If only he could feel how off her really was on his personality.

The boy's eyes light up with pride and reborn radiance." Does that mean your my..." the boy trailed off eyes hopeful. Sesshomaru just couldn't stand to see his face saddened again. Sesshomaru held out his arms and the boy eagerly jumped in them crying tears of joy because he felt now he had a family. The boy thought that he was the happiest out of the two of them. Sesshomaru was ecstatic now that he had something of her to hang on to, even if it could be false. Now he had a son named...

"Tell me son, what's your name": As the word 'son' came out his mouth he felt a little feeling of pride and some weight being lifted on his shoulders, this was truly a beautiful moment.

"Shippo." the boy said simply but with such meaning to Sesshomaru that he could feel god shine down upon him.

Now he had a son that might not even be his but that didn't stop him from puffing his chest out in pride. He now had a part of his hopefully wife to hang on to. A little piece of heaven to keep hope alive. He would never let his son go even if it meant his life being lost once more...

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**Scene I**

**Part III**

_How far would you travel?_

_What would you do?_

_Who would you chase down?_

_Simplicity, is the answer to everything_

_The answer to how do I have fun,_

_The answer to where do I go,_

_And most importantly, _

_The answer to how do I live...- __**Bankotsu'sAngel**_

Sesshomaru wished this moment would last forever, just him and Shippo, and the thought of finding that missing family, that missing piece of his heart. But he realized this could not last forever to find his true love that seemed to be alluding him, yet quietly looking out for him. In a second his headaches started up again, and a name flashed in his head: 'Sesshomaru'. It struck him hard. Could that possibly be his name? Had he found a missing piece to his life. Even though he wasn't sure the name seemed to fit him. Then he heard the boy's stomach grumbling.

"Tell me Shippo, when was the last time you ate?"

Shippo shrugged his shoulders in an unsure manner. Sesshomaru felt hatred and anger swell up in him, how could some one look at this boy and have the audacity to not offer him anything to eat? It was inconceivable in all it's obscurity! Well not he had to stop thinking about all the hate he felt for these people, and find something for his son to eat, and maybe force answers out of the villagers. As Sesshomaru walked into the moonlight, he saw his 'son's' red hair. No his hair was not silver like Sesshomaru's, or raven black like his mother, it was red.

Sesshomaru quickly felt the light in his eyes and heart, diminish. His shoulders slumped in defeat. This could not be his son if he didn't have the same hair color ass either of them. Another thing that struck him was that this little boy was full demon when he was sure his 'wife' was human. Shippo should of at least been a half demon. That little piece of heaven that he had just acquired was once again gone and he felt as if he would never be able to get it once more without the lady of his continuous thoughts. When Shippo realized that Sesshomaru had stopped. he turned around.

Eyes, not blue eyes, molten gold eyes, but his emerald green eyes were looking at him. Just more pieces of paradise being waved in his face and then quickly being taken away. He stood there for a few seconds eyes downcast and then decided not to rush the boy's happiness, he'd have to do that later...

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**Scene II**

**Part I**

_If you needed him what would you do?_

_Who would you reject? _

_And how much would you cry?_

_There are sometimes where I just feel like giving up,_

_On the world and the rest of humanity,_

_but then comes a book or story that changes my mind,_

_Or maybe a good samaritan,_

_And my trust and faith is renewed again...-__**Bakotsu'sAngel**_

Looking at the molten setting sun, I thought of the man I loved on the other side of that horrid well that had caused me so much grief. I had loved the other side of the well only to have everything loved ripped from under me. The love of my life, is trapped on the other side never to hear from me again. How the setting sun reminded me of him and his focused, loving, and keen eyes. And how the silver cars lined down the street reminded me of the beautiful hair that had adorned his head.

Somewhere down in the depths of my heart, I knew I wasn't missing him because I could never see him, because Kami knows that even if I was on the other side I would have never saw his loving face. No, but more of the he was dead and I could not be there to visit his grave. Or take my beloved Shippo with me to go see hid dead adoptive father. I sadly had left Shippo behind. I could not bring him here because he held to many happy memories that had to be erased to stop causing me pain somewhere down deep inside.

I had to erase the memories he had of me away, so as for not cause him the pain of being betrayed like I had so many times. I had left him in the care of the villagers I had saved so many times, and I know they are taking good care of him. They promised me that they would, and I'll trust them until proven otherwise. I had been asked out by other men and had sadly refused them. I still loved the demon lord known as Sesshomaru, but I'd never tell them that and have them have me committed.

I knew that I should be committed because I was going out of my mind thinking about all the good times we had had together, and how cruelly he had been ripped from my grasp, and I had been ripped from his loving embrace. There are times in everyone's life where times are bad and they think they can not live anymore. Well this is one of those times, except I don't THINK I can't live without him I KNOW I can't live without him. He was one of those things keeping me from giving up on life after Inuyasha left me.

The closest thing I have to the past is the Goshinbuko tree that is in my front lawn. That was where all my troubles had began, with Inuyasha, the Shikon No Tama, and with love. There are graves surrounding the tree, one for each of the people I had left on the other side. Seeing as I didn't know if they were dead or alive I put them there just for good measure. I say a little prayer for each of them and hope they'll hear it.

I have somehow seemed to harness true powers that I have trained. Now all I have to do is hold up something with their name on it, and have it blessed by me. I hope that would be enough to protect them long enough for me to find a way to the past. I have acquired more gifts to manipulate the elements but that doesn't help me at all in the modern era.

"Kagome come in dinner is ready!" I turned around to see Souta calling after me, so I came away from the well house with one last lingering touch.

"Kagome I think you need to let go of the past and move on." My mom said without ever looking up from putting the food on the table.

"It's not that easy mom, I have friends there that I'll never see again."

I was starting to get irritated. My mom has been trying for years to get me to stop mourning over the closing of the well and the friends on the other side. She just doesn't get how hard it is knowing you'll never see the friends you love and cared for so much again.

"Kagome Michiko Higurashi! You have been giving me that same excuse forthe past 10 years! You will get over this and tommorrow you will goto work!"

"I'm not hungry anymore." I said quietly while walking up the stairs to my room

I still feel kind of sad over the whole thing. I know I'm 25 and need to get over this, but I just can't! That's why I'm still living in the same room I was when I was 15, I can't let go ofall the memories.and i have the strange feeling I never will...

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**There you go eight pages of one of my best works yet; If You Need Her! Please review, by the way I'm looking for a beta reader if anyone is interested...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two- _Torture_**

_**If you needed him….**_

_How long would you stay away from him?_

_The question is never will you always be here for me, __but how long until we part.-**InfiniteAffinity**_

_**Scene II**_

_**Part II**_

* * *

Things had changed drastically for Kagome after Sesshomaru had met his end. First the Shikon Jewel had disappeared, and she assumed had fused with her body. She had gone back to her time to tell her mom that she was back for good this time.

Before she had left she had wiped Shippo of all his memories of her and left her in the care of the ever sweet villagers and their village miko Kaedae. She was positive that Kaedae had passed now and that the village was taking good care of Shippo for her.

That was still not where her trouble ended. Once she had come back to her time she had started feeling different, a tad bit queasy at some times. Then it had happened, she woke up one morning to find herself in some type of ethereal glow.

At first she had thought nothing of it, thinking it had something to do with the Shikon inside her. So she went out to the garden to help her grandfather with his morning routine of weeding the garden. When she had arrived outside she saw her grandfather just laying there motionless. So naturally she ran to him.

When she got there she saw how blue his face was and knew at that second that he was dead. Still with some hope that if she touched him that he might spring to life, so she touched his face.

Then a miracle happened.

Color resumed to his face and after a few minutes his eyes fluttered open, and fixated on her face carefully. He blinked once, then twice, then three times, and slowly started to get up. Once on his feet he stared at Kagome in disbelief.

"Kagome was I dead just now?" he said unsure if he should ask, and somewhat afraid of the answer.

"I-I think so grandpa," she said unsure if she should really answer that herself. She then started to crawl backwards.

She stopped when she backed up into a bed of dead roses. She turned to stare at them curiously. As soon as she turned her eyes widened, as before her very eyes the dead wilted petals turned a bright red, and straightened.

At first she had been scared and stared at her hands, and then thought of Sesshomaru. She jumped up with joy and ran towards the well with, with a quick jump she dove into the well with her eyes closed. She then realized that she felt no warmth.

She turned her head up and saw nothing but the well house's roof and became scared. Where were the blue skies? The clouds? She quickly climbed out of the well, only to jump in again. She continued until she had finally twisted her ankle at the bottom of the well.

The pain didn't faze her.

She could feel her heart crash and break inside her even worse then when he died. This time she had given herself false hope. She just had to except the fact that he would never be coming back and she had to deal with that.

She climbed out of the well with unknown ease, and then she realized that her leg must have already healed itself. When she was out of the well she looked around. The only light that she could see was the light coming from the open door.

She slowly made her way to the door and soon dropped to her knees in pain. Something was going wrong with her; her whole body was on fire now. She tried to scream for help but the pain was too strong and it constricted her throat.

She could feel something growing out of her back; she was soon knocked into unconsciousness.

Once she awoke it was night time, her muscles were aching. She walked slowly towards her room upstairs, with amazing ease. She reached her room and quickly shut the door. She was headed straight for her bed, but then something caught her eye.

It was her reflection.

She stared in awe at what she looked like.

Her eyes seemed more entrancing than before, a more ominous shade of blue, like the sea. She herself was now 5' 11" which meant she had grown six inches. Her arms now had more lean and long muscles than their old measly skinny form, as were her legs which were visible from her denim shorts. Her hair had grown to compensate for her new height and went down to the end of her back. Her skin in comparison seemed more radiant, and all the little scrapes and cuts that were once scars were gone, and was now creamier.

But the most prominent feature was the huge wings that protruded from her back.

Such an angelic white, so pure, so innocent….

Undeniably mystical.

She looked at herself horrified. This could not possibly be she had thought she had been excluded this afternoon in the well house. How in the world could she possibly explain this to the people at school?

'_Oh the wings? Those came with my ability to brig back the dead; let's get back to the algebra homework shall we? Now what does x equal?'_

She bet _that _would roll over well with her friends.

This was the last straw she could never leave the house again. She had to be forced into a life of solitude and aloneness. Why was Kami so against her? She would never have a life again. All this thinking and worrying had made her tired which led her to a more pressing matter…

How was she to ever get to sleep?

She looked at her bed skeptically and then looked at the things on her back through the corner of her eyes. She decided to sleep on her stomach; she could already feel the weird morning feeling that would be left there.

She crawled into bed face first, and turned her head to the right. She looked at the gold watch on her night stand and it made her think of those deep beautiful eyes of Sesshomaru's. Those big molten lava orbs that a girl could just get lost in. How they would look at her with such admiration and love. The was the perfect silver eyebrows framing then would always raise up when he was curious or confused about something she would say.

The hole in her heart was reopened. She could feel it pulling to let all the sorrow out. She knew that she shouldn't start crying now or she would let all the bent out sorrow out like flash flood. So instead of just sitting there thinking about _him_ she didn't think about anything. She just lied there staring at the white of her pillow.

And that was how they would find her in the morning.

_**Scene II**_

_**Part III**_

_Would you not cry for him?_

_Would you think about him every night and day? _

_Would you not fight against the fate themselves to get back to him?_

_When all you have to live for is gone, keep living; when all your hope is gone, keep hoping; when it would break your heart to keep faith, prepare for a heart transplant. Otherwise, when you do hit the bottom don't be surprised that the sun is gone from sight. – **InfiniteAffinity**_

* * *

Souta walked into his sister's room the next morning to find her lying in bed looking at her pillow. Her eyes were vacant and so empty, and impossibly lifeless. She looked like there was nothing going on in that raven head of hers.

"Kagome it's time to get up, grandpa wants to talk to you." Souta said as Kagome's visitor slowly walked up behind him.

"Tell grandpa I'll be down there in a second, and take Hojou with you." As she said this, her eyes started to fill with the light in the room again, turning her back into the sister Souta had come to know.

Without a word he led Hojou back downstairs. Kagome got out of bed surprised that she had made it through the night without her heart being ripped out all over again. She slowly got out of bed, her soft feet not making the slightest sound on the floor as she made her way to the bathroom.

She took a quick bath and made her way to her walk in closet and pulled out a pair of jeans, she then pulled over a white sweater over her tank top. It was a cold morning so she pulled on a pair of woolen socks

She took a look in the mirror and quickly realized that because of her growth her jeans now looked more like capris that went down to her shin. She then decided to put on her old capris, which she was sure would only go down to just below her knees.

She put on her old capris and headed downstairs. She came down to see Hojou sitting on her couch holding a bag filled with what she thought was more of his remedies.

"Good morning Kagome, how are you this morning?" he said letting his boyish smile show.

"I'm fine Hojou thank you for asking. Not to be rude or anything but what exactly are you doing here?" She said furrowing her eyebrows.

"Well I heard that you were having your birthday soon and I didn't know when it would be so I brought you an early birthday present." He said pulling a stuffed bear out of his little bag.

"Thanks Hojou but you didn't have to get me anything." She said taking the bear hesitantly so as not to be rude. He ignored her last comment as he got up.

"Wow Kagome you are definitely different from the last time I saw you. You look taller." He frowned as he realized that she was almost as tall as he was. Then that frown soon turned into a strange look of wanting and yearning.

'_Why can't I return his affections? How is it the only people I can really relate to and love aren't even human? I guess this means that there really is something wrong with me.'_ Without her knowing her expression turned to that of shame.

'_Wait a minute why can't I try to move on? Why can't I at least TRY to return his affections? It's not like __he's__ coming back anyway. All I have to do is walk him to the door that way we're alone.'_

Now sure of herself she looked at Hojou set on her intentions. His puppy brown eyes were still looking at her in that same sad, lonely expression. He let out an exasperated sigh, and closed his eyes for a moment to regain his composure.

"Well I guess I should be taking my leave now." He said making his way to the front of the house knowing Kagome would lead him there like she always did.

They both rapidly approached the door faster than either had anticipated and hoped. Kagome looked on in surprise as they reached the door.

'_Some how I remember this walk taking longer and being more excruciating.' _

As they reached the door Hojou turned around to face her with the slightest look of hope in his eyes. Unfortunately that small glimmer of hope was being taken over by more of the expectation of being let down.

"Kagome-chan I know that you might be busy, and I don't expect you to say yes, but I was wondering if you would like to go out with me later today. I know that you probably have way better looking guys fighting for your attention, but I was wondering if you would consider me too. I know that you have never shown a real interest in me but I was hoping that you would give me a chance."

Kagome was speechless for a moment. Yes this is what she had been waiting for him to ask but he had never asked like this. She had been expecting the usual invite and his boyish smile. He had never been quite so open with her before. She paused her thoughts when she saw him open his mouth.

"You know Kagome when I am around you, I feel like I'm not human. You make me feel that no feelings can affect me and all the pain in the world couldn't touch me. Recently I don't think I have ever felt more human than I do now." As he said this his eyes started to tear up.

"Oh Hojou tell me what's wrong." Kagome then threw her arms around him.

He wrapped his arms around her in return. They stood there for a while, just like that. They soon parted. She looked at him for a second; he looked at her with that same wistful gaze. She immediately knew what he was being so wistful about. So she gave it to him.

She crashed her lips onto his. He seemed surprised for a split second then he returned it full force. It was a very quiet all of a sudden and both of their thoughts ceased. Though both being human they eventually had to part for air. They then stood there huffing quietly.

"So does this mean you'll say yes to going out with me today?" He said with a hint of uncertainty.

She flashed a brilliant smile with her newly whitened teeth "I would love to; just let me get my jacket."

Kagome disappeared from Hojou's view as she went to go get her hoodie. She quickly pulled it on and grabbed her purse on the way out the door. Hojou was still standing there and didn't even notice her come in as he was slightly touching his lips.

He looked up from his thoughts when he saw Kagome in front of him. He looked her up and down slowly then a huge grin spread across his face. His eyes shown with an endless mirth. Without Kagome anticipating it, he hugged her tightly to his frame.

"Thank you Kagome." He said softly.

"For what?"

"Even though you might not choose me in the end, I'm glad for at least giving me the chance to win your affections." He said letting her go.

Hojou opened the door and waited for her to come through it, and then when she had he closed it softly behind her. Neither of them even thought about locking the door for two reasons; One, Kagome knew her grandfather would come and check the door like he always does. Two, Hojou was too preoccupied looking at her to really care about the door.

They walked down the steps with Hojou in the front of Kagome, giving her time to really asses Hojou. Since the last time she had ever gotten a good look at Hojou he had seemed to have grown a bit. His shoulders had become wider, and his muscles bigger.

When they finally got to the bottom of the Shrine steps Hojou turned to the side to go down the street, giving Kagome a chance to assess his face too. The first thing she noticed was that his face had lost that boyish exterior. He had become more handsome, a tad bit more serious.

"We're here." It seemed that she had gotten lost in all her thoughts so much that she had not been paying attention to where they were going.

Right now it seemed that they were in front of a cobalt blue Hybrid SUV. From the looks of it was quite new. He first opened the passenger door and helped her in to the high seat. After shutting the door he climbed into the driver's seat.

"Are there any particular stations you like to listen too?" he said starting the engine.

"No, I'll listen to anything you have on." She said giving him a small smile.

He set the station on a soft rock station as they went down the road. The first few minutes were quiet, brooding even. She looked out the window to see that they were headed out of town. At first she became alarmed that she was being led out of town by a boy, no, a man that she hardly even knew. But it was Hojou he wouldn't do anything to her right?

"Hey Hojou, where are we going?" She said with a hint of uncertainty.

"There was this place I was saving for when you got better from all your illnesses. I've been taking care of it for years now; I was recently just thinking of giving it up."

Hojou looked at her out of the corner of his eyes. She looked just a tad bit crestfallen and just a tad bit guilty. He quickly tried to make amends.

"I mean honestly what would it be if I didn't have the most beautiful woman in the whole of Japan to share it with." She gave him a shy smile that made him smile just as shyly.

As they kept going she saw the areas became more rural and saw more cows in the neighboring farms. Soon the landscape became more beautiful; it soon didn't take long before they came to a stop in front of a home and a huge area of sorts.

"Come on you need to see it before it gets dark." Hojou said climbing out of his door and then walked to her side to help her out.

Once they were both out of the car he walked her to the gate, he used a key to get it open and showed her past the house. They soon reached a gate that was absolutely beautiful. It was covered in Sakura petals, the flowers on the ground growing up where breathtaking.

The place above all was, terrible.

The worst place he could have possibly brought her in the world.

This was in fact the place where Sesshomaru had met his demise.

"So do you like it?" He said his eyes hopeful. They soon became worried when he saw her eyes tearing up.

"It's beautiful." She said resting her head on his shoulder.

"Are you sure that this place isn't going to interfere with your health?" he said looking at her suspiciously.

"The only thing that is going to interfere with my health is you if you keep spoiling me like this." She said looking up into his eyes, but before she look for too long she was met with a heated kiss. Hojou soon backed off to her lack of responding.

"I am so sorry about that. I mean here you are you giving me a chance and I-" he never finished before Kagome gave him a heated kiss of her own. They stayed like that in basking, in the glow of the setting sun.

'_Sesshomaru is never coming back. I guess my life would mean something if I could at least make Hojou happy.' _

* * *

So it was set she had made her resolution.

_**Okay, the end of chapter two. Sorry for the long wait, I had things on my mind. Happy New Year and a belated Merry Cristhanakaumus. I am working on chapter three as we speak and it will include Sesshomaru. Keep in mind this is still a SessKag fic.**_

_**Also I would really appreciate it if you all would go to a place called freerice . com without the spaces. It's feeds people for every word definition you get right. Okay it's only 20 grains per word, but it adds up.**_

_**Also there is a new search engine called blackle . com it helps the environment, by saving kilowatt hours by letting the screen not be so bright, which saves fossil fuels they have to burn to power your bright resolutions on the screen.**_

_**I never knew that my bright screen took up kilowatt hours. I have even changed most of my personalizations on accounts and on the computer to be darker.**_

_**Let one of our New Year's resolution be to try and lessen global warming okay?**_


	3. SURPRISE

SURPRISE! It's been a LONG while.

I was cleaning out an old email address of mine and saw this review from the end of 2011 and I was surprise people could still find and read the stories I wrote and were still interested in any of them.

I was 13/14 when I started these stories and I'll turn 18 this September so I'm not sure where I was going with any of these anymore. I'm going to be re-reading the stories over the next few weeks and see which ones might need revamping and which ones I'll finish first if I'll even have time to finish them at all. I'm going to try and see what can be done and take it from there. If you all have any input on anything leave a comment or PM me or something so I can get ya'll's opinions.

Thanks for sticking with me!


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